יום ראשון, 6 בפברואר 2011

Shame, regret, self-hatred

I've just read again the title of my blog and the first post i submitted today.
It's like someone else has written it. what an awful shame. disgrace.
I don't know what to say. I had a painful stomache and gases all day long. really suffered. This is the only excuse i can supply for my behaviour earlier today. When I suffer of gases my head is fucked. i can't think.
and now i am so ashamed and i feel so sorry for myself. i wanna go and puke but the puke will stick to my fur, and the municipality cut off my water supply. forgot to pay the bill. "forgot". as if. prefered buying a new pair of DuFFS. i have 82.5 pairs of DuFFS by now (0.5 cause 1 shoe is missing, meaning - i don't feel like exposing the real circumstances for the disappearance of the shoe).
i just can't help it. i go back and read again and again, out of some kind of a sick compulsion, my earlier posts. each time i do that my stomache hurts again and i fart. i feel so miserable. should i go to sleep or take a walk by the shore? the moon is full. the night is warm. i'll take a walk. oh! hahahahahaha i suddenly feel better! just suddenly! hahaha! just had a bad gas day! that's all! that's all! my brain was fucked and i wrote some stupid stuff. so WHAT? hahahahahaha how cool! it's 2:31 am now. I'm so happy i'm so happy! i'll go down to the beach and take a walk! hahahahahaha HAPPY!!!
xxx and farts
Fun O'Rama (i DO give a shit 'bout UPPER CASE letters now! yayyyy! happy!)   

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